Showing newest 5 of 11 posts from 10.10. Show older posts
Showing newest 5 of 11 posts from 10.10. Show older posts

10.29.2010

what's your favorite color?

Dear Internet,

All I want for my children is for them to have fulfilling, successful lives. And I want them to define fulfilling and successful. I want honesty and compassion to inform their personal understanding of fulfillment and success. I want my daughters to give people the benefit of the doubt, to question and lead by an example of self-reflection and integrity.

I am talking about our family's value set, our morals, what we know to be important and trust to guide our actions and choices. This is hot button topic lately. Value sets. My values surrounding relationships with other humans begin with respect, empathy, honesty. Always and the end.

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I am happy. I have a wonderful life. I want more for the next generation.
photo by Holly Andres
All this prologue is to say this: I am disheartened and confused as to why people spend time and resources disapproving of, avoiding and trying to change people because of who they love. It is hateful, unproductive and unlike the deity whose approval they seek.

I want communities and individuals to devote energy to constructive, educated efforts that better the world.

I want people to get over the orientation vs. choice of gayness. Margot loves orange. She likes to wear it, draw with it, look at it, adore it. It makes her feel fabulous. She is true to herself. I think it is wonderful and necessary that she understands, asserts and exhibits her love. If you like blue better, go for it. Let Margot love orange. Blue and orange are complimentary colors you know. They function best together.

I want my children to look back on the issues surrounding human rights for gay people like my generation regards racial segregation and a woman's right to vote. Like, "Can you effing believe that even happened and not that long ago?! I am so thankful our people and government took care of that horrid injustice."

Here's the thing: I am on fire about issues surrounding the rights of humans who like other humans who have the same sex parts. See how ridiculous that sentence is? It is. Additionally, I am dedicated to truthfulness, art, the golden rule, education for all, non-toxic food, open space...

I have the high charge of raising two people to be stewards of our planet and culture. I care about their future, I care about the future of your families. I am voting on Tuesday. Because I want people in office who represent my values.

Will you vote? Whether or not you share my values, voting is your voice and the voice of our kids. Do you feel too busy and/or like you don't know the issues well enough to make informed decisions? Me too. Please don't use that as an excuse. This weekend, take one hour and talk to your friends, google ballot initiatives and candidates. Do it.

Leave a comment telling me (the world!) that you are voting and why and you will have a chance at winning a $25 gift certificate to my shop.

To true love,

dig

10.27.2010

hump day nuggets: look both ways

hump day nuggets: little bits of the season in photos and words about the last week


"Mama, it's still dark out?!"

"Yep. The mornings are dark now. It is dark more and more as we move away from summer and toward winter."

"Next summer we'll have sun."

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Now I do believe Margot is BRILLIANT but it really isn't true that she understands the proximity of the sun to the northern hemisphere and its relation to the seasons. She says, "next summer ____" a lot these days because, I realized, that's what I say a lot. Like, "Mama when can Ruby walk to the park with me?" and I say, "Next summer Ruby will walk to the park with you." Or, "Can Ruby have ice cream?" to which I respond, "Next summer Ruby might like to eat ice cream."

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Margot is a diva. A very unique diva who like darker hot pink panda bears tucked in yellow diapers, her 'pineapple' skirt,
two coats, six (six!) socks on her left foot, elmo slippers and sparkly sunglasses.
She's really into "last night" and "tomorrow" and "the other day" and "next week." It's very darling in that way parents think every little thing their kid says is darling.

"Mama, last night that deer crossed the street by the alley and the car hit him. He has a broken leg. I am really sad about that. Remember that, mama?" This is a daily conversation about this very thing happening last June while we were in downtown Helena. "Yes I remember. It made me sad too." We process it thoroughly and decide he may or may not be ok but it is ok to feel sad about it and good to remember to look both ways before crossing the street.

Every day when Andy gets home from work he asks Margot what she did that day and she always says, "We went to the carousel and the library and the museum!"

It has me thinking about how kids create their own realities. How, really, we all do. Why not re-remember a sad situation and develop a timeless, positive lesson time and time again? Why not visit the carousel, library and museum every day?

nuggets.

:: Picking the last of the season's raspberries with our best pal and neighbor, Laura.

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:: Lounging on the sidewalk with pals in the tart fall sun.

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:: Sometimes I am so preoccupied with all the stuff I want to accomplish while my kids nap that I don't look at this. And then I look at this and think it's pretty cool.

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:: Rhubarb.

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I am so moved by all of your comments and emails from Monday's column. Thank you for allowing me this space to process and for responding in such beautiful, real ways. You all really do change me. I am better for your words.

I was a little nervous to post it because I have been writing a lot about Ruby’s first month and thought response might be along the lines of yeah yeah move on. I got an email this morning and want to share a piece of what she wrote:

Please always post when you are compelled to about that dark place with Ruby because it will always live somewhere within. “Moving on” is not only so American Society style, but does not capture the essence of this is not a move on kind of thing. We mothers will forever get it…..

Sincere thanks for all you amazing, powerful people out there.

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:: We carved a pumpkin with "heart eyes and a big, great smile"

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Totally unprompted. Andy grabbed the camera and Margot said, "mama, I want a kiss please."
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"That's my pumpkin. I grew it from a seed y'all." Click here to see it lit.
:: Ruby and 16 Months dig each other.

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:: There is as much beauty in end of life as in loud bloom. Don't you think?

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:: Backyard play in the fall. Good stuff.

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:: Woot! for Soapwalla Kitchen, a new dig sponsor. Rachel lives in Brooklyn and makes organic, vegan skincare products with real, high-quality ingredients in her apartment kitchen. Um, yes, she's cool.

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I have the Luxurious Moisturizing Body Oil and it is for sure luxurious and moisturizing. I am not sure if I am supposed to put it on my face but I do every morning and it works WONDERS in this dry Montana air. It smells divine and absorbs beautifully. Really, I love it. I also have the deodorant and IT WORKS. Even on my mama pits.

Dear readers, you can support this very awesome business, have glowing skin, smell really great AND get a deal! To get 10% off your purchase, enter 'DIG10' at checkout. Thanks, Soapwalla!

:: Did you know a dog poo rake doubles as the perfect toddler toy? Cheap fun we have 'round here.

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:: My grandfather Dutch, who was a helluva a guy, had this tee made for me. Nick the Rock was his name for me. My mom didn't so much care for the name but I'm glad she saved this tee.

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:: Skyping with gram while opening Epic Halloween Package. My mom individually wraps every little thing in her packages creating the most magical experience for my kids. Love you, mom.

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Notice those toes poking out from the tired sole of the beloved elmo slippers.
:: My first memory is from when I was nearly three. I wonder what Margot's first will be.

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:: I can't stop freaking out over the trees in our neighborhood.

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And, so, there's less sunlight this time of year but it seems just as warm. It has some to do with the thick blankets we haul out. It has some to do with the thick blankets of leaves and then snow. It has a lot to do with cuddling and chatting. And I think it has everything to do with outlook.

Tomorrow we are going to the carousel, museum and library.

10.25.2010

snot, pumpkins and another step

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How I spent most of my weekend
We've had a grumpy, snotty few days around here. We think it's Ruby's teeth that are causing fevers and rashes and drool and tears. And then Margot caught an empathetic sisterly cold.

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Working on the Halloween costume
Last weekend we abandoned most plans and only left our home to sneak in some exercise and friend time. We held our girls more than we didn't and considered ourselves productive when we put the half and half back in the fridge.

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Alice supervised from the couch
Mostly, we hunkered and soothed around Halloweeny things like carving, sewing and toasting.

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***RANGE PORN***
Pan toasted pumpkin seeds: wash seeds, toss in olive oil and salt and cook over medium heat while constantly stirring.
Takes about 20 minutes to cook and two minutes to eat.
I also thought a lot about our friends' whose new baby boy is in the hospital. I went to see them last week and, yo, did I revisit some uncomfortable stuff from when my Ruby was in the hospital. I came home and wrote about it and the eventual, wonderful realization that what almost happened didn't happen and what did happen is survival.

Andy read my column before I posted it and suggested that perhaps I should move on from publishing* stuff about Ruby's illness and recovery right now. I felt a little defensive because maybe he's right...if it feels to you like I am regurgitating the same feelings, the same process, the same effort, it's because I am. But I do feel like every time I think on it and write about it I get closer to the place I seek: honest memory of the experience and honest celebration of where we are now. Now was all we had back then and now is all we have today. In any event, right now, because of my tumbling encounter last week, I am closer. She survived. So did I.

Read more in this week's mama digs, another step.

*Edited to add: just to clarify: Andy fully encourages my writing! He was talking about taking a step away from hitting 'post'.

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ps Congrats to the winners of a Feeleez game and poster! And thanks to everyone for playing along and sharing your feelings.

Jess said...
I feel like Emily. It has been a tough week, lots of people in pain around me. What a cool game! Reminds me of the Kimochi dolls.

Katie Anderson said...
I feel like Brook right now, just happy, in a good place. However I am all over the place with my feelings lately being 6 months pregnant and all.

Email me at digthischick@gmail.com to claim your prize!

10.20.2010

hump day nuggets: like worms under soil

hump day nuggets: little bits of the season in photos and words about the last week

I am always especially pensive this time of year. As the effervescent, boundless, boiling energy of summer is reduced to a meditative simmer and, eventually, the flame is totally gone and we are left marinating in stillness. Not that we are ever especially still as far as motion goes. I more just mean that we are still like worms retreating under a blanket of soil. There's work but it's cozy and introspective.

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I introspect all up in my shit. How many times can one think about the next half marathon they will run or the perfect paint color of their office? At what frequency can one vacillate between big goals and nothing but the moment? Well, I, for one, embrace all this thought and rejection of thought.

It's fall.

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And I like to think in the fall.

nuggets.

:: I think about how fortunate I am to live here.

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Grape harvest at our friends' vineyard and winery.
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:: I think about how I like life's outtakes as much as it's final cuts.

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:: I think about (obsess about) what I'll do differently in next year's garden.

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:: I think about what it will taste like to eat squash apple soup with sage in January, what it will feel like to see steamed beets against the gray-white of Missoula winter.

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:: I think about my little baby and how she's big and almost one.

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:: I think about my own childhood memories of wearing footed pjs before sunrise in a new place.

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:: I think about the differences in my daughters' personalities.

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:: I think about distraction. How sometimes I can't think because there is a giant, loud goose that requires my attention.

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Our family journeyed to Spokane last weekend
:: I think about how grateful I am to work with such inspiring, conscientious businesses through my blog. A big, fat welcome to a new dig sponsor, Feeleez.

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Margot love to sort and match the beautifully illustrated cards
We love Feeleez in our home. Feeleez is a toy that encourages Margot to think about feelings, learn vocabulary to articulate her feelings and empathize with the feelings of others. We've had Feeleez for a while and we often pull the game or poster out and talk about what we're feeling or what another might be feeling. Last night I asked Margot if she'd like to find cards that look like what she was feeling. She chose three and said, "I feel a lot of happy." Now I promise it isn't always these cards she picks but what a lovely articulation and understanding of her feelings. Seriously, Feeleez rocks. You can buy the game and poster here.

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"I feel a lot of happy."
The entire brilliant system was created by three parents (Natalie, Kris and Nathan). In their own words, "Empathy is the basis for all peaceful interactions. Empathy is the foundation for compassion, which is essential for a well functioning community, whether that is the community of your own home or society at large." Yep.

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***And, this awesome business is giving away two posters and two games! To have a shot at winning a set, visit this page, pick the illustration that most accurately depicts what you are feeling right now and then hop back here and leave a comment about it. Comments will close Sunday night (10/24).***
Thank you, Feeleez!

:: I think about how quickly I can forget how tired I am when I laugh with Ruby.

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Don't be deceived. She wakes before the sun.

:: I think about how fun can happen in the most unlikely places.

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:: I think about this smushed love Margot exhibits.

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And, because I have been listening to fabulous music while getting all nuggety, here's a little lyric from MGMT's Love Always Remains:

no one has to hear
the sound of people laughing at their fear
and the ocean
and sun are always there
to make you happy if you're feeling scared
of the darkness
love always remains

To the season of thought! Happy Hump Day!

10.18.2010

sweet adventure

Last weekend, our family hopped over to Spokane real quick. And by real quick I mean the duration of the trip not the pace at which we traveled. That is more accurately described as trying to run in a giant bowl of honey.

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Nursing Ruby road-side
I wonder if amazement will ever cease at how much stuff we need for one night away. I wonder if I will ever plan an appropriate amount of time to get ready. I always think we'll pack up and be on the road in 12 minutes. I mean, all we need is a change of clothes, a few diapers, some fruit leathers and my camera. Oh yeah, and to feed and water the chickens, scoop the cat litter, take Alice for a walk, arrange pet care, turn the hot water heater down, fill up the car with gas, get an oil change, take the compost out, change Margot's pink bear's diaper, and have at least three pacifier scavenger hunts and two emergency potty breaks. By the time we are in the car and pulling away I inevitably have forgotten my sunglasses. By then we are at the next meal time so we also have to order in some sandwiches to pick up.

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"Safety first", says Darker Pink Panda Bear 
It was quite comical and definitely an adventure. Made even more adventuresome by our re-entrance into Missoula. We pulled off I-90 at 6:40pm and Andy rolled up in front of the grocery so I could leap out with Ruby and grab dinner ingredients and a few bottles of sparkling reisling. We raced home where Andy changed the girls into their pjs, fed Margot a tofu dog and took them to a friend's house while I made pad thai and readied myself. He then picked me and pad up and we headed to our bistro dinner club thai extravaganza. We were there by 8pm. Amazing, no?

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We left a trail of cheerios from Missoula to Spokane
So yesterday we rewarded our gogogogo weekend with a lazy Sunday. A bit of a walk, a bit of garden harvest, lots of coffee, not unpacking.

The drive to and from Spokane was led by golden larch and I couldn't stop thinking about how we did this same drive at this same time of year three years ago when I was pregs with Margot. I wrote about that reflection in this week's mama digs, like a larch.

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